Camping Weekend 2

So I'm already finding that some of these camping weekends will be grander than others. This one was one of the grander ones. My dear friend Casey Butler is on his way (or already arrived, perhaps) out west to New Mexico to join several of our old friends at a summer camp. He'll be working as a summer staffer for now, but I wouldn't be surprised at all if he ended up out there long-term. One thing I've always loved about Casey is his love for adventure. He understands a side of me that many people do not.

So he told me he and a couple others might be doing a camping trip in Canada before he roadtrips out to NM and I was instantly on board. It was an appropriate sending off, in my mind. So Here's the recap.

The trip was eventful from the start. We'd been in Canada only for a few hours when a tire on the car blew. We were fortunate to have a spare and took the next exit to get a new tire on Tom's car. We had to stop at a Tim Hortons (our 1st of many Tim Hortons stops along the way) to get directions to a tire place. We also bought a map of Ontario since GPS was a little unreliable in Canada. You can see (above) Casey and Tom arguing about directions in the classic "map on hood" pose. This photo marked our 2nd stop at a Tim Hortons. 

Traffic was backed up for miles (or kilometers if you prefer...) at one point because of this overturned semi. 

We finally arrived at the campground but there was no staff around to help us check in, so we wandered around until we found the campsite Casey had reserved online. We were fortunate that few other campers were around, we had a large area to ourselves. We arrived later than we had planned on, so we set up camp, gathered some wood and got going on dinner. Mac and cheese with hotdogs was the main course. S'mores later, obviously. None of us slept very well that night, it was colder than we had anticipated, so I was thrilled when the sun came up. 

    

I got up and got the fire going again. As has become my tradition, I heated up some hot chocolate over the fire. Breakfast was bacon and eggs. Good hearty food for men on an adventure. I also started experimenting with cookie s'mores, which can only be a good thing. We were exhausted from a long night of poor sleep, but went on with our plans to go on a hike at a nearby park. 

                 

The hiking trip was great- except that it revealed how grossly out of shape I am. Beautiful views, fresh air and good company. 

        

On our way back from the hiking trails we stopped at a house that advertised maple syrup for sale. We each bought a bottle. Then proceeded to toast with it and each took a swig. We had a long laugh with the Canadians. 

  

We had lunch at a strange little family owned diner on the side of the road. I ordered the appropriate drink (Canada Dry).

        

After a brief naptime back at our campsite, we headed to Toronto for some poutine. Casey and I had never had any- it was delicious but we took no photos of it, apparently. If you didn't know, it's french fries with cheese curds and gravy. I got some bacon bits added to it, which was the greatest decision of the night. A cute girl at the poutine place was whispering about us- whether it was about our rugged good looks or the fact that we reeked of campfire will forever be a mystery. We had fun in Toronto but headed out since it was getting dark and we still needed to get a campfire going. Above are photos of bagged milk- it's real, as well as a photo of the sunset as we left Toronto. 

Our final morning was filled with maple/milk scrambled eggs and what was left of our bacon. We then packed up and hit the road. The camping was great, the company was great. Lots of memories. More camping to come! God is good.

PS. Thanks to the guys (Tom and Casey) for most of the photos. 

Camping Weekend 1

Part of my Summer of Camping will hopefully be photosets and descriptions of each camping experience. Since I've done a couple already, I'll have to update you on them just to catch up. So, here's camping weekend # 1:

We arrived late evening at Lakeport State Park, and set up camp right away. My children friends got busy looking for a playground as I got the fire going. Dinner was quick to follow. Then came stories, s'mores and sleep. (Note Huron in through the trees)

I'd been struggling with a bit of a cold, so a little cough syrup helped knock me out. I woke early (as I often do when camping) and decided to get up and enjoy the morning. First I got the fire going again, then made some hot cocoa, then I watched a beautiful sunrise over Lake Huron.

I wandered the beach for several hours picking up shells, fossils and sea glass for my niece and nephews.

I hate when people say stuff that is poetic and puffery but doesn't really mean anything- that being said, I find it hard to express what I felt out there. The wind, waves and solitude awoke something in me, reminded me in a way of who I am. I don't know for sure whether it's the reminder that I'm so small, the comforting sounds or smells of nature or just the lack of background noise, but somehow camping makes me feel closer to God. It was refreshing and energizing.

Got my first taste of sun for the year. Great weekend. Looking forward to more camping. God is good.

The Year Ahead

It's comical that year after year I make posts in this blog (and others) and each time I think "from now on I'll do it more regularly". Even now I'm posting after a year, and I still think I'll do it more regularly from now on.

Here's a quick recap of the last year:
I completed my 4th full year working at the same church.
I wore lots of flannel.
I was in a couple of weddings.
I grew my hair longish (I called it the college professor cut), then cut it back.
I bought another Jeep Cherokee.
I missed my Dad.
I moved into a new house with old friends.
I went to Florida and Disney with my family.
I Saw the Atlantic Ocean.
I broke my phone near Florida and Disney.
I picked blackberries with some friends and made a pie.
I did some writing and sketching.
I turned 30.
I ate a lot of chips and salsa.
I bought a star trek mug.

I have tried to stick to my goals- taking advantage of every interaction, seizing the day, doing things that make me feel alive...

On that topic, I'd like to present: The Summer of Camping.

Since it is such a life-giving thing for me, I've decided to do as much as I can this summer. I have already done 2 camping trips this spring, and I've got several trips yet to come. So if you're interested in camping, let me know.

The Last Year

Hey! Here's a brief look at the last year, and what I've (hopefully) learned!

My family recently marked the 1 year "anniversary" of my dad's death. So much has changed for all of us in the last year, and yet in some ways it feels as though it could have been yesterday. We spent the weekend together having fun and remembering my dad (often through tears). It is hard to know what to think or say with a year having passed. Grief is hard, and I think we all wondered when it would feel "normal" again- though as we'd all tell you it isn't the same normal. It's a "new normal". Life has gone on and we've all adjusted to some degree, but there will always be someone missing. God has always been good to us, though.

I read through some of my blog posts from a year ago and cried, remembering the fresh pain of that loss. And I imagine it is both that refreshing of memory and my 29th birthday approaching that has me awfully introspective. A year ago I was thinking about all of the ways I wanted to live my life differently, to be like my dad in many ways. I'm reviewing my life now, to see how I've done and determine what I should do from here on out.

Here is a "to-do list" I drew up based on my thoughts from a year ago.

1. I had a new perspective on life- that it is short, precious and fragile, and shouldn't be wasted. I haven't "seized the day" as much as I should have, but I'm working on it.
2. I wanted to make every interaction count - to have an impression on someone. I haven't sought out interaction or connected with new people, really. I've talked for more than a year about starting a guys group, or a group with middle/high school guys, maybe it's time to take action.
3. I wanted to embrace what makes me feel alive. I'm a maker at heart. I have done a few building projects that fit this category! I hand-crafted several Christmas gifts for my family as well as building a loft bed for myself. Other craftsmanly side projects are waiting for good weather and the right materials as well.
4. I wanted to be able to go out and experience the world and creation. This is a tough one to explain. I've always wanted to do adventury things- big backpacking trips, adventure camping trips, Alaska trips... But haven't done it, likely for a lot of reasons. Mostly, though, my weight has held me back. I haven't been up to the challenge. I am proud to announce that I've been working out (mostly) regularly for a while now. I'm working my way toward this one.
5. I wanted to resist complacency and be intentional. I wanted to make decisions and move, not just do what is easiest (which historically is my greatest failing). I have improved a little in this area. 

So I've got some work to do still, but I've made progress! It's a start. I was asked recently what I want to be doing in a year. It was such an open-ended question and I hadn't thought about it for a long time. What DO I want to be doing? Am I happy with my career? Shouldn't I have a wife by now? Have I settled in this area for the long haul? I was sort of caught off guard. I had no answers. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I want to be, but not as much time on what I want to be doing.

Let me ask you this, reader: What would you do if you could do anything? Would you go to a far away land? Would you work the job you are working? Would you stay close to your family?

Thanks for listening. God is good.

Recent Things

I really thought I would be blogging more. A lot has been happening, life (as it turns out) is surprisingly busy.

As a short recap: my mom couldn't afford to stay in the house she and my dad lived in (for the last 4 years), so she found a house in the area that she and my dad had looked at years ago. It is a house built in 1911- kept in good shape until a couple years ago. There were some squatters in the house that trashed much of it. So my mom could afford to buy the house, but it needs a lot of little renovations. But it will be a good place for her. I've been spending my weekends there for the last couple of months to help her move.

I'm also preparing to move myself. I've been living in what we call the "Burke House" for almost 3 years now- when I moved in, I thought I would only be there for a month or two. Over time, I came to appreciate the community of the house and the beauty of the property, but it is time to move out. I've had a lot of really great housemates, one of whom is moving with me. We're currently looking for a good house for 2-4 guys and 1-2 more guys to share it with us. The landlord has plans for the house once we're out, so we are in a hurry.

So the church I work at has a brilliant Christian psychologist who volunteers his time to talk to our staff one on one. My "supervisor" asked me to talk to him. I assumed it was because of the perceived increase in stress I was going through. I was a little anxious about the idea, to be honest. I felt like I should be insulted by the idea- that I would need to talk to a psychologist? What- am I crazy? But just about everyone on staff talks to him from time to time. So I went and talked to him a couple days ago.

I found myself very nervous. I've openly talked about everything going on in my life with a lot of people, both very close friends and peripheral acquaintances- but was somehow nervous about talking to a psychologist. But the time came and I sat down with him. He had a calming demeanor but an intense look to his eyes. But I told him what has been going on in my life- my mom moving because my dad died in February, moving out of the house and saying goodbye to friends, extra stress with the busyness of work... I told him that I had been asked to come talk to him. For some reason, I was surprised when he asked about my dad, and my relationship with him. I remember thinking "So THIS is what we're going to talk about..." So I told him about my dad, about how much I love him and miss him, how great of a man he was and what a great mentor he was for me. Just like that, I found myself talking. I talked and cried for about 45 minutes, with the psychologist pointing out parts of the grieving process now and then, and making small suggestions.

It was amazing how it seemed like he understood me- knew what was going on for me right now- this feeling of loss that I'm still dealing with (He says I will always deal with it), and how it impacts every part of my life. He said I will be tired more (check), my muscles will ache more (check), I'll stub my toes more (strangely... check), I'll lose my cool over something I don't really care about (check)... It was amazing. I have talked to a lot of friends about this, but hadn't heard anyone really understand and know like he did. He was very encouraging of the way we've all talked and cried together as a family, and told me to keep doing that. I left feeling strangely refreshed.

So the big take away for me was to see that all areas of my life- my frustrations with other problems, in particular, are related to my loss.

Life is going on. The whole family is doing pretty well- though we're all pretty tired, I think. We've been able to spend weekends together working on my mom's move, but it isn't very restful (or fun, haha...) But we'll soon be done and get some rest.

God is good.

Deep Friendships

Some old art major buddies of mine were getting together over the weekend, and it looked like I might not be able to make it. After some consideration, I decided to make it happen. I've had a lot of heavy stuff on my mind lately, and a spur of the moment trip to visit old friends did a lot of good. In fact a couple of weeks ago, I got a visit from my old friend Casey Butler, which also helped me.

So lately, I've been reminded of the importance of having deep friendships. I have a lot of what I'd call "peripheral friends" - people who I consider friends, but rarely share the deep concerns of my life with. Unfortunately, however, I feel that I don't have a lot of friends right now who I can share my deeper emotions and thoughts with. In the last 2.5 years, I've had several very close friends sort of move out of the area (and thus out of my life, in some ways). It is not impossible to keep up those distanced friendships, but certainly difficult.

So it was good to meet up with people I have history with, and with whom I share interests and passions. I've dealt with my dad's passing through introversion- I've spent a lot of time alone (I wanted it that way- don't freak out, extroverts), but it was great to get back into relationships and community with old friends.

It was another step toward "getting back to normal" for me. And it woke up a little more of my creativity and taste for adventure. God is good.

So there's an insanely big rainstorm outside and all I want to do is go run around in it!