The Last Year

Hey! Here's a brief look at the last year, and what I've (hopefully) learned!

My family recently marked the 1 year "anniversary" of my dad's death. So much has changed for all of us in the last year, and yet in some ways it feels as though it could have been yesterday. We spent the weekend together having fun and remembering my dad (often through tears). It is hard to know what to think or say with a year having passed. Grief is hard, and I think we all wondered when it would feel "normal" again- though as we'd all tell you it isn't the same normal. It's a "new normal". Life has gone on and we've all adjusted to some degree, but there will always be someone missing. God has always been good to us, though.

I read through some of my blog posts from a year ago and cried, remembering the fresh pain of that loss. And I imagine it is both that refreshing of memory and my 29th birthday approaching that has me awfully introspective. A year ago I was thinking about all of the ways I wanted to live my life differently, to be like my dad in many ways. I'm reviewing my life now, to see how I've done and determine what I should do from here on out.

Here is a "to-do list" I drew up based on my thoughts from a year ago.

1. I had a new perspective on life- that it is short, precious and fragile, and shouldn't be wasted. I haven't "seized the day" as much as I should have, but I'm working on it.
2. I wanted to make every interaction count - to have an impression on someone. I haven't sought out interaction or connected with new people, really. I've talked for more than a year about starting a guys group, or a group with middle/high school guys, maybe it's time to take action.
3. I wanted to embrace what makes me feel alive. I'm a maker at heart. I have done a few building projects that fit this category! I hand-crafted several Christmas gifts for my family as well as building a loft bed for myself. Other craftsmanly side projects are waiting for good weather and the right materials as well.
4. I wanted to be able to go out and experience the world and creation. This is a tough one to explain. I've always wanted to do adventury things- big backpacking trips, adventure camping trips, Alaska trips... But haven't done it, likely for a lot of reasons. Mostly, though, my weight has held me back. I haven't been up to the challenge. I am proud to announce that I've been working out (mostly) regularly for a while now. I'm working my way toward this one.
5. I wanted to resist complacency and be intentional. I wanted to make decisions and move, not just do what is easiest (which historically is my greatest failing). I have improved a little in this area. 

So I've got some work to do still, but I've made progress! It's a start. I was asked recently what I want to be doing in a year. It was such an open-ended question and I hadn't thought about it for a long time. What DO I want to be doing? Am I happy with my career? Shouldn't I have a wife by now? Have I settled in this area for the long haul? I was sort of caught off guard. I had no answers. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I want to be, but not as much time on what I want to be doing.

Let me ask you this, reader: What would you do if you could do anything? Would you go to a far away land? Would you work the job you are working? Would you stay close to your family?

Thanks for listening. God is good.